My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
