I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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