why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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