Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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