I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
That's intense
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
