I heard we made out
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
