please come you make the beer taste better
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
