Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i think i have herpe
just one?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
