His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
