We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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