Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
