I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
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Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Congratulations! We have a period
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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