Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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