OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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