I'm jealous of your bromance
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
