Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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