You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You need Xanax blowdarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize