Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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