it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
