Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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