I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Please don't give away my fajitas
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
