dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
