I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
