my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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