There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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