I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
