ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
