problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
