Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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