Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I had to cum in my sink.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
