VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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