i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
