it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
