Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
