NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
