ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize