well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Randomize
