I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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