Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
