Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
