It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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