now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
what day is it and did you see me today?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
