What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
