people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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