People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
