pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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