Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
