i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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