I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
