Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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