Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
This is my gift to your gina
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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