I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize