did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
