im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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