it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
