I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
