Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
