i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
