I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
