I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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