The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
