like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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