can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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