you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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