Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
