Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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