well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
