Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
