I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
