forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize