its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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